When our group was told to spread out and talk to people, I was very nervous and did not know who to approach. I was relieved when I, along with two of my peers, were waved over by a table of two men to come join them to chat. I was lucky enough to sit down and talk with Jimmy, who immediately made me feel comfortable by complimenting our style and acknowledging the awkwardness. I exchanged compliments about jewelry and style with him. I also learned that the man sitting next to him was his father, who had a cool hat and jacket on.
At first, we talked about music, which was something he was very passionate about. He told me about listening to James Brown, Nico, The Doors, and more artists. He told me that he had a signed The Doors poster by Jim Morrison, which is kept at his friend’s apartment. Soon enough, Jimmy opened up and delved into his childhood, where he told me about his experience growing up in a Catholic school and taking etiquette classes in Texas. He explained how strict and mean they were in these places. Jimmy then explained how he moved to San Diego in 1989 after a rich man offered to move with him. Expecting to go to San Francisco for the music scene, Jimmy was disappointed to land in sunny San Diego, only to learn that the weather and people were much nicer here. Jimmy told me about how when he was younger, he had longer hair and beautiful skin which attracted many men. In fact, he said that many men that he was with were straight men who insisted that they were not gay. They explained how they were surprised that they liked Jimmy, since they were straight. Jimmy also told me that he dabbled in drag, but didn’t stick with it. I found this so fascinating and we talked about how different it is to be gay in today’s age.
Jimmy also told me that he lived in Hillcrest for 18 years and lived with his father in an apartment and took care of him when he got cancer. This apartment complex was affordable and they were able to live there for many years. When the pandemic hit in 2020, they were lucky enough to not be evicted due to housing policies during the pandemic. However, Jimmy stated that although he submitted a form to keep his housing, they rejected it because it was too late so they were kicked out of their apartment. He explained that many younger people were moving in and the landlord was glad to have them leave since his father was old. It was shocking to hear about such blatant ageism. It was also heartbreaking to find out that after nearly twenty years in a home, they were so easily evicted. Unfortunately, I was unable to ask Jimmy about his current situation as I had to head back to campus, but I told him how grateful I was to speak to him.
My conversation with Jimmy was incredibly meaningful. I had never had the chance to speak with an older gay person in this capacity and hear about their experiences growing up in a homophobic world. It was eye-opening and I felt so much gratitude that Jimmy was speaking to me today. Jimmy inspired me to do my Healthy Aging Project on LGBT older adults. I hope I see Jimmy again and I hope to someday work with the West Center.