Our final tour to the Casa de Mañana retirement home was definitely a new experience – the housing itself felt very rich in history and care, and the residents we met seemed very lively and excited to see us. My group conversation with two of the ladies was very interesting and intellectual since they probed us for our future plans. I am still in the exploratory stage of my future career plans, so I found their questions difficult to answer clearly, but I loved that they wanted to get a sense of where everyone is at this point in our lives, compared to them (flight attendant and nursing life)! I also liked and felt inspired hearing my peer’s future plans, so this really was the most fun intergenerational ~exchange~ that I’ve had. Not only did I enjoy listening to their stories, but they too enjoyed listening to our stories, so it was a meaningful exchange experience. Being able to live right by the shore, in such a wonderful community and weather conditions is certainly a blessing. I really liked these two photos attached; the first one shows the beautiful homes and the sky, and the second one shows an example of the lovely scenery, shells, only one street away. If I were to sum up the lessons that I’ve learned in this class in a few phrases, I would say that life really is too short to not live in the present and that there are so many stories to be told; the conversations just need to move forward. As for healthy aging, I don’t think that there’s one specific way to age since there are multiple factors affecting one’s life course. Even so, a few things that can help create a successful aging process includes deconstructing ageist attitudes, and surrounding oneself with a supportive community. Leland’s Happiness is a Choice You Make is a book I think I’ll hold onto dearly for a long time. To smile and laugh more, worry less about things that cannot be helped, study hard purposefully, initiate conversations, look up, hug people more… these are just some of the things that I’m going to try to do more often now that I am more cognizant of my limited days in this life course. Something like taking care of my parents and loved ones and showing them in both words and actions are important to show them that I care. When I was younger, I had the luxury of spending time with them in the car and listen to them talk about life, but now that I’ve grown older and able to drive myself places, conversations are minimal and kept to when I'm home (which is often late, when they’re ready for bed). Being aware of this change in tempo feels nostalgic, but I can always just strike up a conversation with them; it’s not like there are significant barriers to our communication. I hope that I really do take into account that this is a lifelong learning process, and I can always take it one step at a time.
This past week has been so full of adventures, from meeting the seniors at the Gary and Mary Wellness Center to exploring and assessing Barrio Logan for age-friendliness aspects. First, reflecting on the event we put on this past Saturday: unexpectedly long, yet short, late morning connections. Below are mainly three little memories I want to expand on and share with you all! (1) I was mostly taking care of the clothing/jewelry booth, which was a lot busier and emptied out than I expected. I love that our classmates brought in so many wonderful clothing and jewelry pieces that the seniors got to keep; it was heartwarming to see the many smiles on their faces! I remember one man in particular was interested in a wooden-like bracelet: he came around, expressed interest, left, and then came around again about half an hour later, expressed surprise that no one had claimed the prized object, laughed a little, then finally took the chance to try it on! It was a cute little interaction and I appreciated how he gave others a chance to snag it before he came back to pick it up (not even for himself, but as a gift for someone else)! As for the clothing, I noticed that many of the seniors were looking for larger-sized clothing. (2) One lady was looking for a large-sized jacket, but when we encouraged her to try the medium jacket, she was surprised that it fit her well. Other than that, our first group of clothing seekers was a group of Mandarin-speaking citizens, and I felt so sad that I was unable to help with the communication. I tried with my broken Mandarin by saying it was free or mentioning the kind of clothing they picked up (“kù zi” for pants). I was reminded of my late grandpa, and I realized that if he were at the community center with us, he also would not have been able to communicate with us students because he spoke a variety of Asian languages, but not English. However, I did actually meet an older Chinese woman who spoke my home dialect, Hokkien. I thought I was just hearing it wrong when she passed by the clothing booth, but I mustered up the courage to talk to her during the raffle, both to fulfill my curiosity and to surprise her with my (almost non-existent) Hokkien skills! Although I couldn’t entirely understand what she was saying, she talked about the Japanese, Chinese, and Taiwan relations, and about how her daughter won a blanket from the raffle. This got me thinking… if I had a superpower, I would definitely want the ability to be fluent in any or all languages. But in all honesty, there isn’t really a shortcut like that so I’d like to start learning Mandarin again, just to be a little more communicative in different scenarios. (3) Watching the other groups do their thing was also amazing! The Jeopardy game across from us seemed so engaging and informative, and it was nice to see the seniors laugh and learn new things. The photobooth was successful!!! I loved the smiles on everyone’s faces, seniors and students alike. The king and queen crown props were a lovely addition; that one lady who helped the other ladies and gentlemen wear their crowns and feather boas was adorable! The plants and physical activity groups also got lots of reception, so it was fun to go around and peek at what they were doing. The painting event was also super cute– one of the ladies there drew a lovely, colorful heart and said that was actually her first time ever painting like this on a canvas. It made me wonder and think about life; I only recently experienced many first-times as I came to college and got to explore activities of interest, but I still feel so left behind sometimes when I realize there’s so much out there that I haven’t experienced that many of my peers have. Even so, I definitely took something as simple as painting on a mini canvas for granted, because it hadn’t occurred to me that it was her first time (since it was a remarkable heart haha). Overall, it truly was a love, care, and connect event. I’m glad it brought in the highest number of seniors since pre-pandemic and I’m excited to hear more about how much more involvement that the center can be expecting soon!
Having the opportunity to meet everyone this past week at the Gary & Mary West Senior Wellness Center was wonderful. The whole experience was different from what I am accustomed to– from meeting at an off-campus site to interacting with community seniors, so I felt like I did not accomplish what I had expected to achieve at my first community event. I hope that this upcoming Saturday, I will be able to take greater initiative in making conversations with the seniors. I found myself relying on the seniors to carry the conversation; on one hand, there was one man who quietly sipped on his coffee and left as I tried speaking, and on the other, there was another man who happily engaged in conversation as I listened in. My goal next time is to 1) ask more than “how are you doing” and 2) commit to reflective listening strategies and navigate how to best follow up with my own stories, questions, or comments. Another aspect of the experience were the things I saw and heard outside of class time. I had arrived at the site much earlier than the expected arrival time, so I parked and waited in my car across the street. In one higher corner of St. Joseph’s Cathedral was an unhoused man seeking shelter. A passerby called out to the man to leave immediately or he would call the police because this was not the first time that he had warned him to leave. I’m not sure who the passerby is or if it is his role to supervise the area, but the interaction was disheartening. The man talking shelter did not seem to be troubling anyone so he resisted the passerby’s remarks, but eventually left due to the threat of a police call. Across the street in the parking lot were other individuals experiencing homelessness, so I am curious as to why the passerby singled out the man alone. Since the center mentioned that they serve those experiencing homelessness, I wonder if some of the individuals I saw there utilize their services and how they can receive greater assistance. The housing crisis in San Diego is having profound effects on the local aging community, and I hope that in several weeks, I can have greater knowledge on the kinds of concrete solutions and volunteering opportunities that I can take to help combat these issues.
The highlight of my Winter quarter so far (aside from meeting my LCS peers!) has been reading Leland’s documentation of the stories told by several elders in his book, Happiness Is a Choice You Make. The wisdom the elders bring to the conversation surrounding life, happiness, and death are so dear and heartfelt to me, that I am slightly afraid to finish the book in fear of what the coming chapters will reveal if the elders have passed. Even so, from the first half of the book, one of the main takeaways I received is the importance of connection, gratitude, and acceptance for our overall well-being. I also really like the relationship between Helen and Howie, described as a balanced give-and-take situation, where needs are requested, given, and fulfilled by both partners in different, nurturing ways. Attached is a photo of the two of them. I find myself wondering what kind of life I will be living in sixty years, which feels like a lifetime away since the chaos of living in the present moment is overwhelming enough! I can’t remember which class or reading this was brought up in, but the question that asked us to imagine ourselves in the future, and to create the paths that will lead us to that life – I hope that by the time spring comes, I’ll have a better idea of what kind of path and community that I’ll be creating for myself. By coincidence, my mom asked me a few days ago why she was getting bags under her eyes, and whether it was a result of her wearing glasses. I was surprised and wasn’t sure how to answer, but then she continued and considered the bags as a sign of aging, feeling sad that it seemed inevitable as she grew older. Although ageist attitudes and marketing contribute to negative connotations associated with the aging process, I was more upset at my lack of response, reassurance, and recognition of her concerns. I want to be able to validate her feelings, but also comfort her that it’s okay to be growing older and ~wiser~ (although I’m not sure how comforting that may be to hear).
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Shina Luu Shina Luu is a General Biology and Global Health double major from Escondido, CA. She Archives
March 2022
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