On Wednesday, February 26th, 2020, the Life Course Scholars Program visited Casa de Mañana in Downtown La Jolla. The site was located in a beautiful crevice that overlooked a private portion of La Jolla Shores where we could see the seal pups. The demographics of this retirement home were: average age 81 and 35% men. She said the building used to be a historical landmark and so now that they extend the building, they try to keep the “Spanish Hacienda” feel. The person guiding us told us that there are 200+ rooms available, 220 residents, 130 staff members, and assisted and independent living with lower and higher levels of care. They provide weekly housekeeping, maintenance where the bed gets made once a week, and classes.
But if I’m being honest, I found myself very uncomfortable in this setting. After reflecting on my visit with another fellow student, I expressed how I felt not only super out of place, but noticed and rejected. I only saw people who look like me, and by this I mean brown individuals, working in this facility. I didn’t get the chance to ask, but I believe the ethnic demographic of this retirement home was about 90%+ White. When it was time to converse with the members that came out to talk to us about their experiences, aside from the woman who sat next to me and and gentleman, I noticed the other two ladies eyeing me and giving me looks. This could have been for anything, but because I already felt uncomfortable, this was the cherry on top for feeling dirty in my own skin.
Despite these feelings, my conversation with the woman I spoke too was very intriguing. Her background was similar to that of my grandma’s, at least that I recognized from doing my oral history project on her. This lady had married her high school sweetheart and he joined the military while he went to school. She said she was very stern on having something to fall back on though, so she didn’t let him tell her she couldn’t go to school. She said that she tried having kids even though she knew she couldn’t afford it because back then it didn’t matter if you couldn’t afford it. She said people would think something was wrong with you if you didn’t have a baby within the first year of your marriage. But she said she couldn’t have a baby, so she adopted one! It was lovely hearing her story and learning how much she’s grown throughout life and how she continues to grow now within this community.
But if I’m being honest, I found myself very uncomfortable in this setting. After reflecting on my visit with another fellow student, I expressed how I felt not only super out of place, but noticed and rejected. I only saw people who look like me, and by this I mean brown individuals, working in this facility. I didn’t get the chance to ask, but I believe the ethnic demographic of this retirement home was about 90%+ White. When it was time to converse with the members that came out to talk to us about their experiences, aside from the woman who sat next to me and and gentleman, I noticed the other two ladies eyeing me and giving me looks. This could have been for anything, but because I already felt uncomfortable, this was the cherry on top for feeling dirty in my own skin.
Despite these feelings, my conversation with the woman I spoke too was very intriguing. Her background was similar to that of my grandma’s, at least that I recognized from doing my oral history project on her. This lady had married her high school sweetheart and he joined the military while he went to school. She said she was very stern on having something to fall back on though, so she didn’t let him tell her she couldn’t go to school. She said that she tried having kids even though she knew she couldn’t afford it because back then it didn’t matter if you couldn’t afford it. She said people would think something was wrong with you if you didn’t have a baby within the first year of your marriage. But she said she couldn’t have a baby, so she adopted one! It was lovely hearing her story and learning how much she’s grown throughout life and how she continues to grow now within this community.