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First Elder Partner Visit, A Reflection

3/18/2017

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By: Nina Escueta
​Life Course Scholar
​

It’s a sunny afternoon as Jasper calls out BINGO numbers to the St. Paul’s PACE residents. Brenda and I hover around, offering help to elders with placing the chips on their cards if they need it. After a few minutes, I notice a man sitting in a wheelchair by the window. He’s familiar... I know him!

I ask permission and a moment later a caretaker wheels him away from the crowd of BINGO players. I recognize him from my first visit at PACE. His name is Herbert. I know he doesn’t recognize me but that doesn’t stop a smile from coming to his face when I write down on a notepad “HI :)” I remembered from my last visit that Herbert had difficulty hearing and preferred to read comments and questions. Taking into account his writing career and his love for reading, this preference makes sense. I would write something down, he would answer, and our conversation would flow at a comfortable pace.

Just like the last time, Herbert quickly found a way to steer the conversation onto the topic of solar eclipses. He mentions again how he used to travel the world in search of them--he’s seen over ten already! And just like last time, my eyes get a little misty when he says there will be a solar eclipse on his 100th birthday on April 24, 2024. I write “It’s just for you!” and he laughs, teary-eyed himself.

He tells me new things about him this time. Like how he was named after both Herbert Hoover, the 31st President and Abraham Lincoln, the 16th. He tells me his full name proudly and speaks about the two Presidents as if they were old friends. He tells me that he used to compose music, and he bursts into song right there in that moment. Sitting with him, hearing him sing his own song, reminds me of why I joined Life Course Scholars in the first place: to listen.

Those above a certain age are often marginalized in our society. For some unspoken reason, the public stops listening to their stories and starts treating them as “others” who have nothing to offer. Frankly, that’s just stupid.

I learned so much from Herbert in just two visits. He taught me about astronomy and horse races and how San Diego used to be back when he first moved here. He spoke to me about Franz Kafka and we bonded over our love for The Metamorphosis. I look forward to spending more time with Herbert, to just sitting down and listening while his face lights up or pulls down in a frown depending on which part of his life he’s recounting. I hope others can find time to do the same with the elders in their own lives.

​Also, I hope others find the time to play more BINGO! You won’t believe how competitive and fun it can get :)
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