Something that struck me was how different, different senior centers and housing can be. I found myself constantly wondering how much higher rent would be, in places that offered more services. Usually I glitch for 2 seconds processing how much rent is. I say “more” services, but during the tour, they seemed like “ideal” services. Ideal spaces to mingle and make friends during older age (when one may struggle with loneliness more). Ideal amenities that make life as an older adult more convenient and safer. Ideal ambiance that is pleasant to slow down in. Not all senior centers/housing had these services, despite these services being decently core to senior quality of life. The big obstacle I kept hearing repeated at the different places we toured was how financial support was a bottleneck. The people keeping these centers and housing running seemed to want to do so much and care a lot for the elderly population, but some things aren’t feasible due to lack of financial support. That was disheartening, especially because it was repeated so often and I felt the sincerity and frustration of the staff speaking to us. I’ve come to be grateful for more of what I have. I’ve been aware of appreciating shelter, food to eat, education, etc. But having spaces to mingle and make friends, amenities that make my life more convenient and safer, and pleasant ambiance, are things I do not hear as much to avoid taking for granted. They are things I can try to offer myself as a relatively young person, but when I’m older, I might have to gain access to them through buying using money. Yet they seem more essential to have as an older adult. It was a weird contrast I’m still making sense of.
I also started my oral history project! I heard some life stories from my Extraordinary Person (EP): the mother-in-law of my highschool tutor. I regret scheduling our meeting to hear her life stories on an early Saturday morning because I was certainly 75% awake, but her stories were more than fascinating enough to keep me awake despite my sleep deficit. I quickly realized one challenge with this assignment: where do we start? Even with some types of stories I planned to ask for, I did not know where to start. In front of me, on my computer screen, was a human being with so many more (and different) years of life than I have experienced myself. It felt like no story, not even 3 or 7 or however many I could ask her, would allow me to understand her life truly. This idea goes for any person I encounter. I can ask them about their life, I can try to understand who they are, but I can never truly know a person since I’ve never seen life the way they have. Every second, they are experiencing more of their life. And every second I try to understand and hear their stories, is still them experiencing more of their life (and me for mine). This is a thought I’ve had with people around me generally, but with my EP in front of me, who has lived more years than most people I’ve known, willing to share her life stories with me, I felt a mixture of overwhelm and gratitude. I loved hearing her perspective on life and especially appreciated her resilience and positive attitude towards aging. I feel blessed to be exposed to many positive sources of death. My grandfather’s death was peaceful, my EP is happily aging, and I’m able to take this class that opened my eyes to how joyful and calming aging can be. I truly wish this concept of death is something taught in a life skills class even at a younger age (than college). Death is something we all know will happen, but the media portrayal and exposure we get about death and aging is mostly negative and rooted in fear. But our perceptions of death and old age impact our current lifestyle and perceptions of life overall. It’d be meaningful if more people were aware of how lovely aging and death can be. I haven’t experienced death and older years myself, but seeing many lovely accounts of those who have, gives me hope and reassurance.