On Wednesday May 15th, the class visited the LGBT Community Center in Hillcrest for the first time to participate in an intergenerational cafe. It was initially pretty intimating. Usually, we outnumber the seniors, but this time they outnumbered us and we all had to split up. Still, by the end of the event, this became my favorite site visit of the quarter.
I had the opportunity to talk to three men (Pat, Dave, and John) at the center. Although we had a prompt on the table, our conversation did not follow any of the questions. Instead, it began and flowed in a more natural manner. One of the main things we discussed was the difference between being gay now and being gay when these three men were in their 20s. The men talked about how in the past they would have to bring female dates to gay bars in order to conceal their sexuality. They also had to hide this facet of their lives from their families. Meanwhile, the general consensus towards homosexuality right now is much more lax (at least in this area of the country). Coming from a more conservative Catholic family, I could understand and empathize with this experience. I am bisexual myself, but this topic reminded me more of my cousin Andy. He is an extremely brilliant and successful person in every way and pretty much the ideal child that any Asian immigrant parent would want. But, there’s a caveat. He’s gay and he’s never been able to come out to his parents. So, although I do agree that attitudes towards the LGBT+ community have become much more positive over the years, there are still communities in which it’s still very stigmatized.
Another facet of the conversation I found interesting was how these men viewed being gay in relation to their identity. They saw being gay as just part of who they are rather than something that shapes their entire identity. Pat said, “I’m just a man who happens to be gay.” I thought this was interesting because, I usually meet and interact with people on the opposite end of the spectrum when it comes to that issue.
We also talked about the generational difference between my generation and theirs. In particular we talked about music. The men all vehemently declared that they do not in any way understand the current music trends, but they also admitted that their parents said the exact same thing to them when they were in their 20s. I really appreciated this because I feel like a lot of people (my generation included) like to jump on the hate bandwagon when it comes to newer things. I strongly believe that it’s okay to not understand new music trends or new forms of art or anything along those lines and still be able to not put it down as “worse than before” or say something along the lines of “kids these days”. It happens with every generation though. Overall, I had a really good time. It was 100% my favorite site to visit.
I had the opportunity to talk to three men (Pat, Dave, and John) at the center. Although we had a prompt on the table, our conversation did not follow any of the questions. Instead, it began and flowed in a more natural manner. One of the main things we discussed was the difference between being gay now and being gay when these three men were in their 20s. The men talked about how in the past they would have to bring female dates to gay bars in order to conceal their sexuality. They also had to hide this facet of their lives from their families. Meanwhile, the general consensus towards homosexuality right now is much more lax (at least in this area of the country). Coming from a more conservative Catholic family, I could understand and empathize with this experience. I am bisexual myself, but this topic reminded me more of my cousin Andy. He is an extremely brilliant and successful person in every way and pretty much the ideal child that any Asian immigrant parent would want. But, there’s a caveat. He’s gay and he’s never been able to come out to his parents. So, although I do agree that attitudes towards the LGBT+ community have become much more positive over the years, there are still communities in which it’s still very stigmatized.
Another facet of the conversation I found interesting was how these men viewed being gay in relation to their identity. They saw being gay as just part of who they are rather than something that shapes their entire identity. Pat said, “I’m just a man who happens to be gay.” I thought this was interesting because, I usually meet and interact with people on the opposite end of the spectrum when it comes to that issue.
We also talked about the generational difference between my generation and theirs. In particular we talked about music. The men all vehemently declared that they do not in any way understand the current music trends, but they also admitted that their parents said the exact same thing to them when they were in their 20s. I really appreciated this because I feel like a lot of people (my generation included) like to jump on the hate bandwagon when it comes to newer things. I strongly believe that it’s okay to not understand new music trends or new forms of art or anything along those lines and still be able to not put it down as “worse than before” or say something along the lines of “kids these days”. It happens with every generation though. Overall, I had a really good time. It was 100% my favorite site to visit.