We began class on May 9th with a debrief on the our LEG at the West Center. We also discussed the second half of the book “Happiness is a Choice You Make”. I enjoyed the second half of the book more than I did the first. I think the lessoned were extremely insightful and important to remember. Life is precious and fretting on small details will just prevent you from fully enjoying it. But, this is easier said than done. Being a college student means fretting over small details--emailing professors and TAs for every small clarification, making sure you get every single extra credit point, getting frustrated over small mistakes. Or maybe that’s just me. It’s definitely difficult to not worry about small details when they matter (or at least seem to matter) so much in the present moment. I completely understand that 10 years from now, I’m not going to care that I got an A- instead of an A on a paper. However, right now, it’s kind of ruining my life (exaggeration). This notion of not fretting over small things is definitely something I’m trying to improve on. Not necessarily ignoring the small details in life, but more of not letting those details negatively affect my future experiences and actions. The seniors in the book found happiness despite of their situation. They focused on the better parts of their lives and on the parts that gave them feelings of happiness and fulfillment. This is something I want to be able to do.
On Wednesday May 15th, the class visited the LGBT Community Center in Hillcrest for the first time to participate in an intergenerational cafe. It was initially pretty intimating. Usually, we outnumber the seniors, but this time they outnumbered us and we all had to split up. Still, by the end of the event, this became my favorite site visit of the quarter.
I had the opportunity to talk to three men (Pat, Dave, and John) at the center. Although we had a prompt on the table, our conversation did not follow any of the questions. Instead, it began and flowed in a more natural manner. One of the main things we discussed was the difference between being gay now and being gay when these three men were in their 20s. The men talked about how in the past they would have to bring female dates to gay bars in order to conceal their sexuality. They also had to hide this facet of their lives from their families. Meanwhile, the general consensus towards homosexuality right now is much more lax (at least in this area of the country). Coming from a more conservative Catholic family, I could understand and empathize with this experience. I am bisexual myself, but this topic reminded me more of my cousin Andy. He is an extremely brilliant and successful person in every way and pretty much the ideal child that any Asian immigrant parent would want. But, there’s a caveat. He’s gay and he’s never been able to come out to his parents. So, although I do agree that attitudes towards the LGBT+ community have become much more positive over the years, there are still communities in which it’s still very stigmatized. Another facet of the conversation I found interesting was how these men viewed being gay in relation to their identity. They saw being gay as just part of who they are rather than something that shapes their entire identity. Pat said, “I’m just a man who happens to be gay.” I thought this was interesting because, I usually meet and interact with people on the opposite end of the spectrum when it comes to that issue. We also talked about the generational difference between my generation and theirs. In particular we talked about music. The men all vehemently declared that they do not in any way understand the current music trends, but they also admitted that their parents said the exact same thing to them when they were in their 20s. I really appreciated this because I feel like a lot of people (my generation included) like to jump on the hate bandwagon when it comes to newer things. I strongly believe that it’s okay to not understand new music trends or new forms of art or anything along those lines and still be able to not put it down as “worse than before” or say something along the lines of “kids these days”. It happens with every generation though. Overall, I had a really good time. It was 100% my favorite site to visit. On Wednesday May 22nd, the class met for the second to last time. It’s insane to think about how fast the quarter has gone by. It seems like everything just started off full speed this quarter. It’s been extremely stressful. Personally, I have just a lot on my plate and a lot to catch up on still (including my blogs :/ ), but I was happy to finally be able to execute my group’s HAP on Saturday. We all thought we had so much time, but May 25th came very quickly. The event on Saturday is much different from what we initially intended for it to be. We wanted to be able to provide haircut and massage services, but things did not fall into place as we hoped. However, we were able to maintain the overall theme of self-care and relaxation. Our event shifted into a more casual, DIY self care day with a clothing and jewelry giveaway. It turned out great. There were a few kinks throughout the morning, but I still think our backup plans fell together pretty well. I was able to take a lot of photos (attached is my favorite), talk to seniors, and overhear a lot of things being said about our event. It seemed like everyone enjoyed it and was really appreciative. Among other things, I heard that a man who only had one pair of pants be able to get another pair and a woman whose backpack was broken was able to get another. The donations from Casa de Manana were extremely important and my group will definitely have to figure out a way to properly thank them. Overall, I’m extremely happy it all worked out in the end. This HAP was definitely a big source of stress and to see that it ended up working out gives me a little (not much) confidence for the next few weeks of my life.
On Wednesday, May 1st, the LCS class returned to the Gary and Mary West Center for another LEG. My HAP group was looking forward to this day to be able to discuss details with Tim in person about our healthy aging project. When the class first arrived, there were only a few seniors, but as the morning progress, more trickled in. I was able to talk to three seniors that day. The most vibrant and memorable conversation for me was with a man named Hugo. Originally from Peru, he talked passionately about the history of his homeland, the Inca empire, and the dominant religion. Our conversation then widened into a geopolitical analysis of South America and Cuba I really enjoyed our conversation not only for the topics, but for the vibrancy Hugo exuded when he spoke on these topics. You could tell that he was extremely passionate about each topic. He even drew diagrams to accompany his stories, so we would understand. He reminded me a lot of my uncle, whom I did my EP on. Joe is also a big storyteller. My group’s conversation with Hugo concluded with a bit of an introspective tone. He wanted us to think about the brevity of life and how to best use the short time we have on Earth. He questioned whether it’s worth it to focus on just one thing, medical school, law school, etc, rather than focusing on passions and hobbies. I understand where he’s coming from and the point he wishes to make. I usually put my creative passions and hobbies on the back burner to focus on academic and professional pursuits. I don’t think that’s going to change much anytime soon, but I also don’t intend on living a life completely devoid of those activities. At this stage in my life and with my current responsibilities, I just need to put other things first. Overall, I had a great time talking to Hugo.
Today we the class met on campus. My group presented on the first half of the book, “Happiness is a Choice You Make” by John Leland. The presentation was followed by a lengthy discussion about old age, happiness, and hard decisions. We spent a lot of time discussion whether family members should respect things such as do not resuscitate wishes. Our last discussion question was something along the lines of, “at what point do your honor your loved one’s wishes over your own desire to keep them alive?” This got me thinking about what I would want if I were terminally ill or how I would respond if it were my mom. Personally, I do believe that at a certain point using medical science to extend biological life is inhumane. Being alive involves more than having a heartbeat. I would choose a shorter lifespan with a better quality of life during my last few days over an operation that may extend my life for a few months, but render me bound to a mechanical ventilator during that “extra” time. I would hope that if I were in such a situation, my loved ones would respect my wishes. At some point the trade-off between quality of life and longer lifespan is just not worth it. My mom sees things the same way. This is a discussion we’ve had and a decision we’ve had to make when my grandparents were terminally ill. They didn’t have plans for this situation, so it was something that my family had to discuss when it happened. I’ve always considered myself to be a person who can put logic in front of emotion when it comes to certain situations. I’d like to believe that I would be able to follow my mom’s wishes if such a scenario were to happen. Still, it’s a difficult choice to make when it’s a loved one and not something that I can say with certainty. Overall, it was a heavy discussion and one that stuck in my mind.
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Nicolette Olivia LeWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. Archives
June 2019
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